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A Broken Vessel

At 10 years old, I gave my life to Jesus - and I had no idea what that truly meant. I asked and asked Him to give me a deep desire to seek Him...and that was my prayer for MANY years.

At 37 years old, I asked God to redeem my life and to break off bondages and wounds and behaviors that had kept me stuck in the same pit I had been in for 26 years. I found FREEDOM!

At 38 years old, I quit looking for a mentor - God has given me sweet Sisters to refresh and inspire me - and realized that I had experience to offer other women. That I had insight and encouragement to share. That I could CONTINUE SEEKING HIM even as I became a vessel FOR HIM. Then I developed a deep desire to seek Him more and more!

Today, at 39 years old, I prayer for a precious WARRIOR for the Kingdom! Just 2 years ago, I could not have imagined that I would have stepped beyond myself like this! I prayed for strength, courage, boldness, wisdom, and discernment for a women that I see exhibiting all of these things! Yet, through tears, she said, "EVERYTHING you said was confirmation." That she'd needed confirmation from God and that I was it, as I prayed.

PLEASE READ THIS: I am SO BROKEN. I am flawed. I am messed up. I cuss (far less than I ever have, but it happens on occasion) and I yell. I get angry and frustrated. I feel resentment and bitterness creep in now and again. I swell up in pride and judgement sometimes.

I am also REDEEMED. If you think I love well, it's because I am loved well. If you find me caring or generous or kind - it's because I have been well-cared-for. If you find me insightful or faithful or see anything in me that is good at all, it's all Jesus.

Imagine a vase. A beautiful piece of pottery, created ever-so-lovingly by the hands of the Master Crafter. The shape is perfect, it is entirely symmetrical, and it is PRICELESS. Then imagine this precious piece of craftsmanship ending up in the wrong hands. It's dropped, and is suddenly in what seems like a million pieces. Now you want to restore it to its former beauty, so you find the glue. You painstakingly put together this puzzle. Despite every effort to camouflage the cracks, to hide each and every flaw - there is simply no use. It's garbage. There are cracks and even gaping holes left behind. It is simply trash, after all of the abuse it has suffered, you are ready to throw it away. But the Master Creator stops you just before you get it there. You try to hide it, but there is no hiding this once-beautiful masterpiece - and you place it back in the Creator's hands. He is so excited to have His precious creation - his masterpiece - back, and suddenly He reveals a small candle. You watch Him, confused by how He does not even seem to notice the brokenness of it all. He gently places the candle inside of the flawed and broken vessel - and then you both gasp in awe:

All of the cracks are now gloriously illuminated!

What was once broken and shattered has simply found a new beauty - one that does not hide shamefully it's imperfections. Instead, she realizes that her weaknesses and her cracks are now a way for His light to escape this vessel and to glorify Him.

Do you have "junk" that is holding you captive? Are you struggling to get out of a rut and you know that there is more for you that is just outside of your reach? Do you feel broken and you are not sure how He could possibly redeem YOU?

GOD has more for you. He has more for me than I could have ever imagined...and I am simply a "work in progress".

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