On September 20th, my father-in-law collapsed at home. My mother-in-law called 9-1-1 and emergency crews arrived within a few minutes. During that time, he stopped breathing and had no heartbeat. Emergency crews were able to revive him, and he was transported to a local heart hospital.
The next two weeks were nothing short of torturous. In order to stop potential brain damage, he underwent a procedure that chilled his core body temperature almost 10 degrees and then after 24 hours, warmed him to normal body temp. Doctors were unsure if he would awake. However, after 12 days on the ventilator, when it was removed, it was like someone flipped a switch. He simply woke up. Even the doctors were amazed. Still groggy from the medications used during that time, he remembers nothing from that time, until about 5 days later, shortly before he had his pacemaker installed.
Twenty-two days after his "cardiac event", he was released from the hospital. Still quite weak, he continues to grow stronger every day and has astounded all the medical staff and even physical therapy. While it could easily be understandably frustrating, his memories return more and more each day. Just a couple of days ago, he asked my mother-in-law something that he has not since the day of or even before his "episode". He asked, "Have I told you lately that I love you?" Something he asked her every day for years. She became emotional and said that she hadn't wanted to remind him, she wanted to see if he would ever remember that...but he said, "I just thought, 'I haven't asked her that in a long time.'" And today they even went on two good walks!
Since September 20th, I have been on auto-pilot. I realized that I had not even balanced the checkbook since just before that day - I have almost all of our bills set up on auto-pay. (I could have SWORN that I had balanced it at least once!) So as I was working on it tonight, I felt nearly re-traumatized by the events of the last several weeks.
But God.
He has been so faithful throughout this ordeal. We had MANY visitors over the days that we spent at the hospital. We were lifted up in prayer more times than we could count - their church family even stopping an evening service to pray immediately upon hearing what had happened, and remembering him and us corporately in several other church services. We were blessed physically with gifts of food and servants helping with the littlest grandkiddos. We were even blessed financially.
My father-in-law is not just my husband's father, but when my biological father stepped out of my life many years back, over the 20+ years that I have been with my hubby, his father has graciously stepped into that role. He has protected and stood up for me. He has encouraged, prayed over, and supported me - and he has even corrected me when it was warranted. When this happened, I selfishly wanted more time with him. He loves us so well, I couldn't imagine how I could make it without him. None of us are promised tomorrow, and there will come a day when I will lose him - and my sweet mother-in-law - to heaven. But for now, God saw fit to keep him here...and restore him more and more each day.
I have dear friends who are faced - even at this very moment - with the heartbreaking reality that they have loved ones who are in terminal battles. It is so hard to balance the joy I feel with the heartache of knowing their pain. And this is not the first time I have experienced this extreme. It is so hard to "wrap my head around".
This is my rambling and babbling and processing of the last month...and I am both grateful for it to be over, and so grateful of the Lord's faithfulness through it. I hope that you can read through all of this and see - God was there. Every second of every day. He has counted every tear and He has turned our sorrow into joy. He never had to prove Himself to us...but He has, He has shown us His hand countless times. We only had to look. It takes a shift of our perspective to see positives in hard times...but if we ask Him, He will make it happen. Oh how many times I have prayed that He would fix our eyes on Him! Thank You, Daddy God!
The next two weeks were nothing short of torturous. In order to stop potential brain damage, he underwent a procedure that chilled his core body temperature almost 10 degrees and then after 24 hours, warmed him to normal body temp. Doctors were unsure if he would awake. However, after 12 days on the ventilator, when it was removed, it was like someone flipped a switch. He simply woke up. Even the doctors were amazed. Still groggy from the medications used during that time, he remembers nothing from that time, until about 5 days later, shortly before he had his pacemaker installed.
Twenty-two days after his "cardiac event", he was released from the hospital. Still quite weak, he continues to grow stronger every day and has astounded all the medical staff and even physical therapy. While it could easily be understandably frustrating, his memories return more and more each day. Just a couple of days ago, he asked my mother-in-law something that he has not since the day of or even before his "episode". He asked, "Have I told you lately that I love you?" Something he asked her every day for years. She became emotional and said that she hadn't wanted to remind him, she wanted to see if he would ever remember that...but he said, "I just thought, 'I haven't asked her that in a long time.'" And today they even went on two good walks!
Since September 20th, I have been on auto-pilot. I realized that I had not even balanced the checkbook since just before that day - I have almost all of our bills set up on auto-pay. (I could have SWORN that I had balanced it at least once!) So as I was working on it tonight, I felt nearly re-traumatized by the events of the last several weeks.
But God.
He has been so faithful throughout this ordeal. We had MANY visitors over the days that we spent at the hospital. We were lifted up in prayer more times than we could count - their church family even stopping an evening service to pray immediately upon hearing what had happened, and remembering him and us corporately in several other church services. We were blessed physically with gifts of food and servants helping with the littlest grandkiddos. We were even blessed financially.
My father-in-law is not just my husband's father, but when my biological father stepped out of my life many years back, over the 20+ years that I have been with my hubby, his father has graciously stepped into that role. He has protected and stood up for me. He has encouraged, prayed over, and supported me - and he has even corrected me when it was warranted. When this happened, I selfishly wanted more time with him. He loves us so well, I couldn't imagine how I could make it without him. None of us are promised tomorrow, and there will come a day when I will lose him - and my sweet mother-in-law - to heaven. But for now, God saw fit to keep him here...and restore him more and more each day.
I have dear friends who are faced - even at this very moment - with the heartbreaking reality that they have loved ones who are in terminal battles. It is so hard to balance the joy I feel with the heartache of knowing their pain. And this is not the first time I have experienced this extreme. It is so hard to "wrap my head around".
This is my rambling and babbling and processing of the last month...and I am both grateful for it to be over, and so grateful of the Lord's faithfulness through it. I hope that you can read through all of this and see - God was there. Every second of every day. He has counted every tear and He has turned our sorrow into joy. He never had to prove Himself to us...but He has, He has shown us His hand countless times. We only had to look. It takes a shift of our perspective to see positives in hard times...but if we ask Him, He will make it happen. Oh how many times I have prayed that He would fix our eyes on Him! Thank You, Daddy God!
Comments