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His Timing is NOT Our Timing

I feel so very strongly that I should blog today about His timing. Probably all of us have heard some take or another on this Scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3 English Standard Version (ESV)
A Time for Everything
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
(I KNOW you've heard it if you know oldies..."Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds.)

Well, let me just summarize how I know that His timing is SO much better than my own. This is how *I* planned my life:
  • Graduate High School
  • Marry then-boyfriend shortly after
  • Have kids
    • Probably 4 kids
    • Each a couple of years apart
  • ...Well...that just about sums it up. THAT was as far as I got.
THIS is how GOD planned my life to go, thus far, of course:
  • Graduate High School (Yay - we agreed!)
  • Break up with boyfriend - it WAS an unhealthy relationship, by the way
  • Start dating an old friend from high school & got married at the age of 20
  • Struggled with unexplained infertility for over a year
  • Delivered a healthy baby boy when we were nearly 23.
    • Ongoing allergy issues kept him on meds several times a day from infancy forward
    • Seizure disorder at 16 months - off of seizure meds about a year later
    • Asthma attack nearly took him from us at 3 years - started several MORE daily prescriptions for allergies/asthma
  • FAST FORWARD...Our son went on to public school Kindergarten & 1st grade
    • Began to see our servant-hearted boy struggling with social cues
    • He was bullied intensely at school - and later we learned also at church
    • I began homeschooling & we sought out private-party testing
    • All indications show a "severe pragmatic language deficit" - meaning he doesn't pick up on nonverbal communication at ALL and logical reasoning is a challenge at best
    • Later learned that it was likely that he is on the Autism Spectrum
  • I began having health problems 
    • I had a miscarriage
    • I found a new doctor that was compassionate and truthful
    • Began making healthier food choices & exercising & lost weight
    • Gallbladder was becoming my biggest health issue & I sought out a surgeon
    • Went in for surgery to remove my gallbladder at the age of 32 (almost 33) and learned that I was pregnant...after nearly 10 YEARS of unexplained "secondary" infertility!
    • Had to seek another surgeon to perform my gallbladder removal at 17 weeks gestation.
  • I delivered a healthy baby girl when I was 33 years old!
    • Within a few months, she was always sick - misdiagnosed as a cold & a few other things
    • At 5 months, we spent 4 days in PICU and 4 days in a regular room to find out that she was in "respiratory distress and heart failure"
      • No idea the cause
      • Possible heart transplant
      • Most likely lifelong medications
      • It was baffling to the doctors that it was caught before it took her from us - "this is something that is just not diagnosed before it's too late" was something we heard often.
    • By the time she was 1-year-old, she was given a clean bill of health and we heard that her heart was "perfect"
      • THIS was the first time we actually knew that she was not BORN this way and learned that it was a virus that attacked her heart
At this point, I have PLENTY of examples to contrast for you:

  • I ABSOLUTELY married the man that God meant for me to marry!
    • While I have recently learned that I had made him my idol and I am learning how to place my Lord and Savior in His rightful place as my Kinsman-Redeemer!
  • I had my son EXACTLY when I was supposed to have him:
    • If I had another baby when he was only 2 years old, I'd not likely have seen his struggles so easily and have known to seek out help for him!
    • If I'd had a 2-year-old at home when I had a sick baby in heart failure, he would not have understood where I was when at the hospital for 8 days!
      • Let's face it, with the exhaustion of having a toddler and a newborn at home, would she even have been taken in in time?
    • Because I had learned to fight for my SON, I KNEW how to fight for a diagnosis for my daughter
These things are ALL God's perfect plan! I have eyes for them because I have asked Him for it so that I might see how truly BLESSED I am!

In ALL of these things - and so many more! - I see how God has the bigger picture - and I see only a small glimpse of my life. His thoughts are SO much higher than my thoughts and I PRAISE Him for that! (Isaiah 55:9)

I have lost so many loved ones, I've been hurt and broken and ashamed and embarrassed and I have sinned again and again - yet His plan is FOR me. He promises me that he will work ALL things for good because I love Him. (Romans 8:28) This does not mean that I will never suffer - because He also tells me that I will suffer because this is a fallen and sin-filled world...but I will NEVER suffer without Him catching each and every tear. Because as much as I love my Lord, He loves me even more. Even when I was choosing everything and everyone BUT Him He was pursuing me relentlessly...calling me back to Him. And the biggest blessing of all - is that I no longer yearn for a Father's love. There is absolutely no question in my mind that I HAVE His love. And I have never. EVER. felt so very, very loved.

*If you want to know how to find this kind of love, please contact me. God made the Way for ALL to get back to Him.*

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