I am always amazed at God. Not in the "I had no idea He could do that" kind of way, but rather the "I had no idea He would do it that way" kind of way.
They say that you learn one of two things from your parents. Either 1) you learn from their examples what you will do or 2) you learn what not to do. I learned what not to do, mostly. My parents were/are amazing people, but they were young with no good examples of their own on how to parent with love and grace and they always struggled with their relationships. Theirs, personally, as a couple, as well as each and every other relationship that they had. Despite nearly 21 years together, my parents were lonely, depressed, and had pushed each other away. Eventually, they divorced - and shortly thereafter I lost contact with my father. My communication with my mother stopped just before I got married and we began trying to rebuild our relationship probably a year or so later. We are closer today than ever and I am so very blessed!
I married into a family that has been a great encouragement and has helped with godly counsel. My mother- and father-in-law have made mistakes like anyone else, but they accepted me from the start. I had some hard conversations with my mother-in-law early on: I had started dating her son immediately following the break-up of a relationship that was more than 2 years long - and she wanted to be sure that I was not with her son on a rebound. It was awkward, but she was thoughtful with her choices of words and I knew that she asked out of love and care for her son - not out of judgment or speculation about me. Her son had been one of my best friends for a long time and I was thankful for that foundation for our relationship - she has loved me so well since the beginning. She has consoled me when I was hurting and she has encouraged and even offered guidance that comes from a place of love, truth, and biblical counsel of her own. She is one of my best friends. My father-in-law has been a great protector and has shown my husband by example how to walk in faith and service. They have called me their daughter from early on - and welcomed a daughter into the family, as they had two sons.
I share this because I always knew that God *could* redeem my relationships and the lack of connection that cut me to the core, but I had no idea *how* He would do this. This is what He did. When my mother eventually remarried, I struggled to accept the relationship because of choices made that had hurt me deeply. God helped guide me to walk in forgiveness and I absolutely love my stepdad! He is an amazing man that loves my mother and has even sacrificed greatly for three adult daughters that are not his blood relation. God has helped me to see where my mother was broken and hurting in a way that allowed me to move on - it was freedom before I had walked through Freedom in Christ! Now we can talk, laugh, cry and enjoy one another! God has placed me in churches that have grown and taught me and loved me step-by-step until, finally, He placed us at our current church. This church body has taught me connection, family, friendship, and genuine love and grace like none before! I feel so very deeply loved and accepted!
I once walked in a place of such brokenness and longing for connection - and now I am linked to a body of Christ that has loved all of those hurts until they are barely remembered. There are small scars, sure. My father, my siblings, and my husband's siblings, too, are all currently estranged...but I have hope that God will one day restore those relationships. And if He chooses not to restore them, I have hope that salvation is secured and they will be restored in Heaven for eternity. Either way, my God reigns and wants only the very best for me. My joy is not found in my situations or circumstances but rests wholly in the depths of my Savior's redeeming love, grace and forgiveness.
They say that you learn one of two things from your parents. Either 1) you learn from their examples what you will do or 2) you learn what not to do. I learned what not to do, mostly. My parents were/are amazing people, but they were young with no good examples of their own on how to parent with love and grace and they always struggled with their relationships. Theirs, personally, as a couple, as well as each and every other relationship that they had. Despite nearly 21 years together, my parents were lonely, depressed, and had pushed each other away. Eventually, they divorced - and shortly thereafter I lost contact with my father. My communication with my mother stopped just before I got married and we began trying to rebuild our relationship probably a year or so later. We are closer today than ever and I am so very blessed!
I married into a family that has been a great encouragement and has helped with godly counsel. My mother- and father-in-law have made mistakes like anyone else, but they accepted me from the start. I had some hard conversations with my mother-in-law early on: I had started dating her son immediately following the break-up of a relationship that was more than 2 years long - and she wanted to be sure that I was not with her son on a rebound. It was awkward, but she was thoughtful with her choices of words and I knew that she asked out of love and care for her son - not out of judgment or speculation about me. Her son had been one of my best friends for a long time and I was thankful for that foundation for our relationship - she has loved me so well since the beginning. She has consoled me when I was hurting and she has encouraged and even offered guidance that comes from a place of love, truth, and biblical counsel of her own. She is one of my best friends. My father-in-law has been a great protector and has shown my husband by example how to walk in faith and service. They have called me their daughter from early on - and welcomed a daughter into the family, as they had two sons.
I share this because I always knew that God *could* redeem my relationships and the lack of connection that cut me to the core, but I had no idea *how* He would do this. This is what He did. When my mother eventually remarried, I struggled to accept the relationship because of choices made that had hurt me deeply. God helped guide me to walk in forgiveness and I absolutely love my stepdad! He is an amazing man that loves my mother and has even sacrificed greatly for three adult daughters that are not his blood relation. God has helped me to see where my mother was broken and hurting in a way that allowed me to move on - it was freedom before I had walked through Freedom in Christ! Now we can talk, laugh, cry and enjoy one another! God has placed me in churches that have grown and taught me and loved me step-by-step until, finally, He placed us at our current church. This church body has taught me connection, family, friendship, and genuine love and grace like none before! I feel so very deeply loved and accepted!
I once walked in a place of such brokenness and longing for connection - and now I am linked to a body of Christ that has loved all of those hurts until they are barely remembered. There are small scars, sure. My father, my siblings, and my husband's siblings, too, are all currently estranged...but I have hope that God will one day restore those relationships. And if He chooses not to restore them, I have hope that salvation is secured and they will be restored in Heaven for eternity. Either way, my God reigns and wants only the very best for me. My joy is not found in my situations or circumstances but rests wholly in the depths of my Savior's redeeming love, grace and forgiveness.
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