Diary of a Woman Learning

I am always amazed at God. Not in the "I had no idea He could do that" kind of way, but rather the "I had no idea He would do it that way" kind of way. They say that you learn one of two things from your parents. Either 1) you learn from their examples what you will do or 2) you learn what not to do. I learned what not to do, mostly. My parents were/are amazing people, but they were young with no good examples of their own on how to parent with love and grace and they always struggled with their relationships. Theirs, personally, as a couple, as well as each and every other relationship that they had. Despite nearly 21 years together, my parents were lonely, depressed, and had pushed each other away. Eventually, they divorced - and shortly thereafter I lost contact with my father. My communication with my mother stopped just before I got married and we began trying to rebuild our relationship probably a year or so later. We are closer today than ever and I am so v...

So I have been working on a new post for a while...but I am just going to delete it. I think I expected to ramble a little - to put my thoughts out there and just process a bit, but I feel that God just never released me to do that, so here I sit with a fresh mind, and in appreciation of new mercies. The last few weeks have been exhausting. I have had so many reasons to praise God amidst the struggles, though! Friends' rejoicing has turned to mourning - but they have hope. The situations of this world are so beyond disheartening - but THIS world is not my home. I have been sick - but then I realized how long it has been since I actually had this allergy and sinus junk! I'm praising Him for a body that is becoming healthy despite the many ways that I have abused this temple over the decades...He restores, Friend. He truly redeems and restores. And THIS is where I want to rest today. How often do I become impatient with my husband because he does not hear or understand what I...

So last night, on my way to work, I was praising and singing and praying - and then I felt God speaking to me. And I also knew that it was to share. I have been blessed with a great friend that covers most evening events so that I can participate or have evenings with my family. Yesterday was her birthday, though, so I drove to work at dusk with the radio cranked up - and the kids were at home with Daddy. I was driving eastbound on the interstate, with the setting sun shining brightly in my rearview mirror and all of the tall buildings glowing with gold. As I was appreciating the beauty, I thought about how when we are in the midst of a beautiful time with God, facing our future - and walking into our present time with appreciation for the current view - the entire time it is lit up by our past. But if we should turn to see what lies behind us, we must quickly look away. The setting sun is not made to be looked directly into - at sunset the sun has filled its purpose for the day, and...

I feel so very strongly that I should blog today about His timing. Probably all of us have heard some take or another on this Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3 English Standard Version (ESV) A Time for Everything For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. (I KNOW you've heard it if you know oldies..."Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds.) Well,...

So I have tried again to get this blog revamped and active again...but there has just been too much stuff. Too much chaos. Too much frustration. Too much confusion. Too much...well...life. But I have felt VERY clearly for the last few weeks that Facebook - though a wonderful tool for connections, sometimes - is just not the format for my personal ramblings. Not because they are inappropriate, but because they tend to be long. ;) Still, several sweet friends tell me how they wish that I would blog because they want to see more. I feel like God is saying, "Yes. Now." My life has changed SO dramatically over since the first post on this blog. And even more still since my LAST post. I've grown in faith and I have found my true identity in my Creator. In fact, when I was trying to determine how to start this blog do-over, I decided to go with today. What a precious day. But before that, I realize that - as this is a new beginning - I should first share my testimony. I wa...