I've read it before. So many times. I've even done studies and have been in classes that have gone over Creation. Yet as I read through Genesis 2, the same thing strikes me - of all the things that God created, the only things that God actually touched were man and woman. Not the earth, the oceans, the animals...only man and woman.
I was blessed within the last year or so, to do a Jennifer Rothschild Bible study called "Fingerprints of God". It still fills me with awe, that God created me the way He did. Full of imperfections and human-ness...He created me perfectly suited to do His will. I fail so miserably and so often...but God's grace and mercy have afforded me the promise of a life with Him by my side. And even better still, eternity with Him when my life on this earth is over. I know that regardless of the trials that come my way in this life, God is always there. Let me say that again: no matter what my life on earth brings, God will never leave my side.
He loves me. I don't deserve it. I can't earn it. It's the gift of knowing God's Son, Jesus Christ, chose to live a perfect life and die on the cross as my sacrifice. There is nothing that I can do on my own, to make my way to God. It is only by accepting Jesus Christ's sacrifice that I can ever be with God. Yet, knowing just how much my Savior has done for me, still I lack the personal relationship with Him that He truly desires. I just don't know how to be consistent. God formed me with His own hands and knit me together in my mother's womb...His Son chose to die for me, yet I still don't search Him out. I want to. Sometimes I try to. But I'm never consistent. Because of that, my spiritual life is not what it could be. I don't feel the peace that God wants me to feel in knowing that He's "got it" and I don't have to worry about how bills are going to get paid or how we are going to afford medications or doctor's appointments.
The part of this that is so amazing, is that in February, I had a very sick baby girl. We were rushed from an emergency doctor's appointment to the local children's hospital. She was in respiratory distress and heart failure - we know now that a virus had attacked her heart. She'd retained a lot of fluid and by the time we left the hospital, she'd lost about 2 pounds on diuretics - her sick heart wasn't able to let her little body flush out all the fluids without them - and she got down to barely 14 pounds. We were in the hospital for 8 days and 7 nights. Yet I was not scared for the long term prognosis of my daughter. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves her and He had her in His hands the whole time. I was concerned with getting information - I wanted to learn as much as I could to help her get better as soon as possible. Somehow God granted me peace - I knew that He was going to heal her.
Next week is probably our last appointment with the pediatric cardiologist - she took her last dose of her last prescription medication on the day before her 6 month anniversary of her diagnosis - on August 15th, 2011. We were told that she'd be on her medications for a full 6 months and then we'd discuss weaning her off. God had other plans. I'm sure that He's got big plans for her.
I pray that I will know in my heart, what I already know in my head - that God is in control. God knows each and every second of my day. He will take care of our finances. He will take care of me. My only responsibility is to let him. And that shows how I trust Him. He made me to do the job that I am doing, and by His grace alone it will be done as He wants it done. I am not good enough to do it on my own...because He created me to live with Him. He didn't create me with His hands to live apart from Him. He created me imperfectly, so that His grace and love could shine perfectly through me. May I learn to live in a way that His light shines perfectly through my flaws. Amen.
I was blessed within the last year or so, to do a Jennifer Rothschild Bible study called "Fingerprints of God". It still fills me with awe, that God created me the way He did. Full of imperfections and human-ness...He created me perfectly suited to do His will. I fail so miserably and so often...but God's grace and mercy have afforded me the promise of a life with Him by my side. And even better still, eternity with Him when my life on this earth is over. I know that regardless of the trials that come my way in this life, God is always there. Let me say that again: no matter what my life on earth brings, God will never leave my side.
He loves me. I don't deserve it. I can't earn it. It's the gift of knowing God's Son, Jesus Christ, chose to live a perfect life and die on the cross as my sacrifice. There is nothing that I can do on my own, to make my way to God. It is only by accepting Jesus Christ's sacrifice that I can ever be with God. Yet, knowing just how much my Savior has done for me, still I lack the personal relationship with Him that He truly desires. I just don't know how to be consistent. God formed me with His own hands and knit me together in my mother's womb...His Son chose to die for me, yet I still don't search Him out. I want to. Sometimes I try to. But I'm never consistent. Because of that, my spiritual life is not what it could be. I don't feel the peace that God wants me to feel in knowing that He's "got it" and I don't have to worry about how bills are going to get paid or how we are going to afford medications or doctor's appointments.
The part of this that is so amazing, is that in February, I had a very sick baby girl. We were rushed from an emergency doctor's appointment to the local children's hospital. She was in respiratory distress and heart failure - we know now that a virus had attacked her heart. She'd retained a lot of fluid and by the time we left the hospital, she'd lost about 2 pounds on diuretics - her sick heart wasn't able to let her little body flush out all the fluids without them - and she got down to barely 14 pounds. We were in the hospital for 8 days and 7 nights. Yet I was not scared for the long term prognosis of my daughter. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves her and He had her in His hands the whole time. I was concerned with getting information - I wanted to learn as much as I could to help her get better as soon as possible. Somehow God granted me peace - I knew that He was going to heal her.
2/15/2011 - In the ER, trying to diagnose: respiratory distress and heart failure
3/24/2011 - The day before we learned that she was no longer in heart failure - she's as healthy as a "normal" 6 month old!
9/9/2011 - on her first birthday! A beautiful, healthy, happy girl!
I pray that I will know in my heart, what I already know in my head - that God is in control. God knows each and every second of my day. He will take care of our finances. He will take care of me. My only responsibility is to let him. And that shows how I trust Him. He made me to do the job that I am doing, and by His grace alone it will be done as He wants it done. I am not good enough to do it on my own...because He created me to live with Him. He didn't create me with His hands to live apart from Him. He created me imperfectly, so that His grace and love could shine perfectly through me. May I learn to live in a way that His light shines perfectly through my flaws. Amen.
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